It comes up in the comments every other week, sometimes politely, sometimes with the kind of all-caps energy you’d expect from someone who’s been holding it in for a while. Some version of: “You’ve spent thousands of words showing the gospels contradict each other, the resurrection accounts don’t line up, Paul invented half the theology, and the Yahweh of Genesis was a tribal storm god who ate the Canaanite high god for lunch. So just tell us. Do you believe in God or not?”
I get the impatience. After all this demolition, surely the man swinging the hammer owes you a yes or no on the question that supposedly sits underneath all of it. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong, and you can dismiss me as an angry atheist with a grudge. If I’m right, then welcome to the club, and we can stop pretending and go get coffee.
The thing is, the yes/no question is the wrong question for what I actually do, and I think the people demanding I answer it mostly want to use my answer to avoid engaging with the work. So let me spell out why I’m not giving you the bumper‑sticker version, despite my commitments to blunt honesty, and what I’m doing instead.